Sleep in heavenly peace

4th Jan. Today is the first working day of 2010. The first Monday. There is some mild confusion about whether this is Fiscal Week 1 or 2. Who cares ? Them emails have started pouring in. The gears are starting to move.

This year I have a bunch of New Year’s resolution. I am also armed with the knowledge that, globally, about 67% of them do not last beyond February. Ah well, I can hear my Wikipedia-addicted friends mumbling, “Citation needed”.

I will not bore you, dear reader, with all of them.

One of them is to get a bit more disciplined about when I go to sleep and when I get up. I have a feeling this won’t last beyond January, and shortly I will tell you why.

I am trying to use Joes Goal to track some of these resolutions — lets see what happens. There is no RTI clause here, so you can ask me, but no answers guaranteed.

Yesterday, I was trying to analyse why I do not get up on time (Read – why I laze around in bed long after my sleep has been hit with a Ctrl-C). Er well, I was doing the analysis in bed. I discovered – pardon me if that is not quite the right usage of the word – I discovered that my brain did not know what was the first thing to be done in the morning. It had a plethora of choices. Like from brushing my teeth to working on my annual appraisal to going to the market to buy our weekly fish. A multitude of choices, with varying degrees of complexity – but all equally unpalatable. So, said my brain, “I don’t know what to do after I get up, so let me maintain the status quo – let me sleep”.

So last night, I devised a technique to trick my own brain. I wrote on a Post-It what I need to do first thing in the morning. Something simple, but important. It read,
“MA Pan Card. lost.”. Yes, my mom has lost her PAN card. And her passport as well. Both of which were neatly kept, along with an electric utility bill, inside a nice brown envelope. If you ask her, she will convince you, in supreme earnest that technically she has lost only a brown envelope. The rest is circumstantial.

Now my brain was trapped. It worked. I wanted to get up at 5 AM. Set my cellphone alarm and voila ! Boy, did it go off ! Sharp at 5. And when I woke up, my brain knew exactly what to do. No more excuses.

But wait, please.

Within about fifteen seconds, I realized that there were certain thermodynamic issues at play here. The temperature underneath the home-made quilt was far too comforting compared to the ambient temperature of the room. So much, that I could not even bring myself to break out of it to go and put on a pair of socks and something warm. Or, turn off the fan, whirring away mildly at ‘2’.

I tried, “Count 1-2-3 and jump out of bed”. Did not work. Every time, on the count of three I found my fingers tightly clenching the quilt even tighter.

I tried, “Snooze the clock for the last time”. Did not work. The ‘last’ occurred quite a few times.

Which led me to disengage and humbly remind myself, “Look bozo, there’s not much you can do over here. There are laws of Thermodynamics which governs all of Nature and you are such an insignificant part of it”.

Well, all’s not lost. I did get up at 5:50 AM. 50 minutes late, but what the heck — its better than 6:30 AM. Which leaves me enough time to write up this blog !

And yes, I found the way to reapply for a lost PAN card.


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